unusual121

I no longer live in Arkansas.  I now live in Memphis, TN which is a huge change for me.  Its a bit of a culture shock seeing that the majority of my life I've been living in a small town where I know everybody and everybody knows me.  Now I'm in this incredible metropolitan area where I know nobody.  This is super new but super exciting at the same time.  I heard that my art would be more appreciated here and I have new opportunities here.  Oh, and I must admit, I love the options of entertainment.  It's refreshing coming from a place where the only sources of entertainment were going to the tiny skating rink (where nothing but slutty preteen

I spent all day with two of my closes friends yesterday.  We went up to Petit Jean mountain.  I've never experienced anything like that before.  I'm use to seeing city where ever I go, whether its little country city area or big city areas but this was nothing but nature.  Trees, rocks, dirt, cliffs, caves, caverns, scenery.  So beautiful.  I don't think I had ever felt so serene in my life.  I crave it now. Maybe some of the feelings stemmed from the effects of the kush lol. My friends not only introduced me to new life but to new music that fit so perfectly.  I'm into "Animal Collective" now.  I had a bit of a spiritual awakening yesterday.

Being back at home with the parents makes me feel institutionalized... or like I should be.  For one of the first times I'm actually obeying them and behaving.  Very unlike me.  Since the age of thirteen I've been doing anything bad that people can name.  So this new "lifestyle" has got me a bit twisted in the head.  I may have my parents lighting up on me but I'm unhappy.  The gratification from doing the right thing seems so small compared to the rewards of doing the wrong things. Turning a new leaf is exhausting and boring. I'll continue to do this for my parent's sake and so I can get out again.  Not quite sure what I want to do with my